I’m a bit sad that this is the last Fake Jets recap of the season. Then I remember that the snow up there in Winnimpreg has melted to reveal the giant piles of moose shit on the streets, and I laugh till I piss myself. Itchy can now haul out the ol’ boat and bring […]
There are shit shows, and then there’s what went down at the United Center tonight: a public enema. The Blackhawks hosted the Columbus Blue Jackets, a decidedly non-playoff team, and got the everloving shit kicked out of themselves in front of 22,000 horrified fans. How bad was the game, you ask? I would have rather […]
The Philadelphia Flyers are a giant sentient trash heap. Their offseason was a travesty of a mockery of a sham. They bought out Daniel Briere’s terrible contract, only to turn around and give $6 million to Vincent Lecavalier aka Tall Daniel Briere. They traded Scott Hartnell who is usefull for RJ Umberger who sucks rocks and is out with a hip injury. They hired Ron Hextall (who is insane) to be their GM but left him with Craig Berube as coach, probably because Berube lost the key to the coach’s office and is the only one to knows how to jimmy the door open.
What with the team’s vomitous performance in Dallas on Saturday, you could have expected the Blackhawks to approach a tilt against the mostly irrelevant Carolina Staals Hurricanes like a cackle of hyenas would approach a wounded wildebeest: murderously, in concert and mercilessly. And you would have been wrong.
Oh goody, the Blackhawks got to play the Stars again! Hooray for Tyler Say-GAN (fuck off, Konroyd) and his 107 sexually transmitted diseases! And look, team albatross Michal Rozsival was in the lineup. I had a bad feeling about this game for some reason, and I was right. Whatever the Blackhawks had on Wednesday against […]
We almost had a repeat of the March 8th game tonight. Lotta skating, some shooty, every expectation this was going to go to OT. NBC and the League may be pissing themselves with excitement at the possibility of a Hawks-Rangers SCF, the rest of us will be trying to drink ourselves blind. Fortunately, they got […]
Hey, did you guys know the Islanders are good? You wouldn’t know it from our season preview but the Isles have managed to put a nice little team together which means they’re what passes for a powerhouse in the Eastern Conference.
On tonight’s Puckcast, Fork, CT and Krista welcome two other Hockeenight staff members to their Puckcast debuts! Meet Watson Leese and Schwarziest. Stuff we talk about: Meat, from Porky’s Watson’s mysterious origin story and why he’d want to write for a website like this Teams we hate, and why A tiny little bit of hockey […]
If you want to succeed in the playoffs, you need depth. The Chicago Blackhawks know this as well as anyone, as they’ve won two Stanley Cups by having 18 skaters who could be rolled out in almost any situation. Last season there were only 9 forwards Joel Quenneville trusted against the Los Angeles Kings, and […]
Now that my sleep cycle has settled on “Go to bed at 1:30, wake up at 8:30”, I can say that these late games are cramping my style and making me write in a state of grogginess. This should be fun. The Blackhawks brought their dads to the desert for some father-son bonding time and […]