Dear Diary, I’ve been sitting shiva for Patrick Kane’s season for four days now. Those Chevy Drives Chicago and BMO Harris commercials hurt me. On the upside, I’ve watched two llamas run away in suburban Phoenix, which could be taken as some kind of weird metaphor for the Coyotes. But then Leonard Nimoy died, so […]
So the Blackhawks began life without Patrick Kane tonight, heading down to Heaven’s Waiting Room to face the Florida Panthers, the team who put them in the Kaneless state Tuesday. Florida made waves earlier in the day by trading for Jaromir Jagr, who has reached the age where he can be described as “spry”. How […]
The Blackhawks played the Colorado Avalanche at Fort Kickass tonight. It didn’t go the Blackhawks way, as they shit the bed in the third period and lost 4-1. This was not a fun third period, so if you set your DVR to record the replay, just skip that shit. If you want an actual recap […]
It was Braindead Meatball Christmas at the United Center tonight, with the Blackhawks hosting the “Magic Man” Pavel Datsyuk and his lowly band of miscreants, the Detroit Red Wings. Finally, those “Detroit Sucks!” chants emanating from the gaping pork-holes of UC super fans would have actual meaning instead of just garnering side-eye and requests […]
You see that score in the header? You see that photoshop up there? That means tonight’s Puckcast counts as a recap. So Fork, CT, Krista and returning guest Lobster Boy talked about the game for 14 seconds and then got down to the business of celebrating Hockeenight’s 40th Anniversary:
If ever a team could be considered the root marm of the NHL, it is the New Jersey Devils. There is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing worth watching about this team. They are bad enough to be on the fringe of the McDavidstakes, but not comically bad enough to be entertaining. Sure they’ve got the Ghost of Jaromir Jagr, but has ceased to be interesting. The Devils can’t even blame their badness on injuries, because all their injured players are terrible. Bryce Salvador? Ryane Clowe? Cripes.
Two games into the 8-game homestand, and the Chicago Blackhawks have two points to show for it. Tonight the Hawks scored 2 goals in the last 3 minutes of regulation to get this game into overtime, only to have Thing 1 and Thing 2 (thanks, Fels) send the Hawks’ fans into the cold filled with […]