HOCKEE NIGHT - The Malört of Hockey Blogs

CLOWN TIME IS OVER

Slak did an excellent job of expressing his thoughts about what we've seen in this series. 

While I completely understand his feelings of dread with a side order of panic - after all, we're both Cub fans - I represent the Yang to Slak's Yin.

I honestly wish I could walk into the Blackhawks' clubhouse right now and kick each and every last one of them square in the ass.

After quickly dispatching the Minnesota Wild, then following it up with a curbstomping of the Detroit Red Wings in the first game of this series, it would be very easy sledding all the way through. Unfortunately, the Red Wings didn't get the memo.


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Killed The Lord, Left For The New World

If you're here it's because you're probably watching the Chicago Blackhawks play the Detroit Red Wings in a playoff hockey series and, like me, you have lots of feelings. For example, last night I was filled with dread and angst over the way the first period played out. It didn't subside the entire game. At one point, after Patrick Kane had finally broken through and scored following Niklas Hjalmarsson's turning Johan Franzen into a red heap of lingonberry jam, I wanted to make myself say it. I wanted to say, "Relax. This team always comes back from these ... << MORE >>

A ZONE OF DANGER: Red Wings 3, Blackhawks 1



At this point, the worst part of this series is that it isn't the Western Conference Final. This is what postseason hockey is supposed to be. Aggrivating, unnerving, eating away at your stomach lining.

The Chicago Blackhawks had a 31-second meltdown in the second period, allowing 2 goals.That proved to be the difference as the Detroit Red Wings defeated the Hawks 3-1 in Joe Louis Arena.

Let's get to this:

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Puckcast: Conference III

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Tonight's Puckcast feature guest JR Lind from III Communication, which is probably the most entertaining the United States has produced since Elvis stopped making movies.  So what did we talk about?  What didn't we talk about?

  • Clambake
  • Is Hal Gill responsible for the recent rash of Sasquatch sightings in the Nashville suburbs?
  • The new rivalries of Conference III
  • Canada's version of Memorial Day
  • What it's like to be an intern on Coach's Corner
  • Elvis' best movie


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HOCKEY BEATS HUBRIS: Red Wings 4, Blackhawks 1



Blackhawks fans can slow their roll now. After 60 minutes of dominant hockey on Wednesday night, most Hawks fans were wondering why the Hawks were even bothering to waste their time with the Detroit Red Wings. Perhaps the next three games would be a nice time for everyone to pad their stats before getting down to business with the Kings.

Well, nobody told the Red Wings this was the plan.

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Opening Salvo: Hawks 4, Red Wings 1

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[NOTE: the following was written during the 1st intermission.  If the Hawks won this game by 10 and Carcillo scored a hat trick you can just skip over it]

Before I begin, a word on the Viktor Stalberg situation.

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BLACKHAWKS/RED WINGS:By The Numbers

So once again, we rounded up the Hockeenight Mathletes in order to give us a statistical breakdown of the Western Conference Semifinal matchup between the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings.

Unfortunately for the Mathletes, they had already done a statistical breakdown of a series between the Hawks and San Jose Sharks, because they believed there was no possibility that a team coached by Bruce Boudreau could blow a 3-2 series lead to a team with a low seed. Hey, we tried to tell them.

So after pulling them away from their 300th viewing of "The Guild" webisodes,  this is what they came up with:


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Chipping In: Hawks 5, Wild 1 (Hawks Win Series 4-1)


So, the Wild came out absolutely desperate tonight, right?  I mean they were on the brink of elimination.  They certainly gave a tremendous effort and...oh the hell with it:




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GET THE FAT LADY READY: Blackhawks 3, Wild 0 Blackhawks lead series 3-1



Sunday, the Minnesota Wild beat the Chicago Blackhawks in overtime by throwing the kitchen sink at the Hawks. Tonight, the Wild went back into the kitchen again, but there was a gaping hole in the counter where the sink used to be.

The Hawks did what worked for them all year, clogging up the middle of the defensive zone, getting solid goaltending, and taking advantage of their depth of talent and penalty killing,  defeating the Wild 3-0 to take a commanding 3-1 lead in the Western Conference Quarterfinal series.

Let's get to this:

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Maybe the Playoffs Aren't That Fun After All (Hunger Strike)

The NHL Eating Contest

Once it became apparent that this iteration of the Chicago Blackhawks was pretty damn good, the regular season turned into a waiting game. One can only watch the Hawks outclass the Oilers, Avalanche, and Predators of the league so many times before it becomes more of a chore than appointment viewing.

Watching Minnesota score the first goal in game one, combined with obsessive Twitter watching, I wondered if maybe the dog days of a successful regular season weren't so bad. That’s not to say that the NHL playoffs aren't an unbelievable spectacle. But it didn't take long to feel that our relationship with them is more akin to Stockholm Syndrome than anything symbiotic. The NHL playoffs are a vehicle for our impotent rage, white-knuckle fear, arrogant vitriol, and crippling shame.

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