I'm sure these Finals are great fun for Pittsburgh and Detroit fans.  But what about the rest of us poor slobs who have to suffer through this hockey coverage without the benefit of a rooting interest?  Well, there's one obvious solution: get plastered.  And what better way to do that than by playing The NHL on NBC Drinking Game?

The rules are simple, whenever:

Chris Osgood mishandles the puck: Drink

The puck takes a 20 foot bounce off the end boards at the Joe Louis Arena: Drink

Pierre McGuire manages to get his Stanley Cup ring on camera: Drink

Doc Emmerich screams "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH": Drink

Marc Andre-Fluery gets caught out of the net trying to play the puck: Drink

Reference is made to either the youth of the Penguins or the experience of the Red Wings: Drink

Playoff beards are compared and contrasted: 2 Drinks

Ed Olczyk uses the telestrator and says "STOP RIGHT THERE": Chug

Olczyk breaks down a replay that isn't being shown on screen: Drink

Pierre McGuire says that a player was "knocked into next week" by a check: Drink

Mike Milbury appears on camera and has remembered to comb his hair: 2 Drinks

Hal Gill is on the ice for a Detroit goal: Drink

Hal Gill gets beaten for a breakaway, but manages to get back and get in the Red Wings way and is then lauded for it: 3 Drinks

Niklas Kronwell's hit on Martin Havlat is brought up: Drink

A replay of the hit is shown: 2 Drinks

Tomas Holmstrom manages to tote his fat ass into his defensive zone: Drink

Ed Olczyk warns us of the danger of THE LONG CHANGE during the 2nd period or 1st OT: Long drink

A goal is scored and Olczyk credits/blames THE LONG CHANGE for it: Finish your drink

The announce team brings up the fact that Detroit's Marion Hossa played for the Penguins last year: Drink

Kris Draper is referred to as "a warrior": Drink

Camera shot of Sydney Crosby on the bench: Drink

Announce team laughs at Crosby's high school mustache: 2 Drinks

If Pittsburgh is behind, and Olczyk and McGuire speculate on when Dan Bylsma should play Malkin and Crosby together: 3 Drinks

Any reference made to the economic hardship of the people of Detroit: Drink

Ford files for bankruptcy during the game: 2 Drinks

NBC cuts away during the game for the pregame show of the Belmont Stakes: Drink


There, that ought to be enough to kill the average man by the 5 minute mark of the 2nd period.  Feel free to add your own rules in the comments.