Tonight the NHL has their Awards Show, broadcast nationally on The Rodeo Network. After last Friday's touching chick-flick within a hockey game, which ended with a tearful Gary Bettman whispering to Sidney Crosby, "You complete me" while handing him the Stanley Cup, tonight's extravaganza figures to be a letdown.

But tonight will be Alex's night. Let's go down the list of finalists for each award. Pretend that you care.

HART TROPHY (Most Valuable Player):

Much to Don Cherry's dismay, this year for the first time all three finalists are Russian Players - Washington's Alex Ovechkin, Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin and Detroit's Pavel Datsyuk. As much as some might feel that this is Sidney Crosby's birthright, even a healthy Crosby isn't the player Alex Ovechkin is. Truthfully, I'm still not sure he's the player Malkin is...although, Conn Smythe (playoff MVP) winner Malkin was damn near invisible in the Finals. Crosby was being shadowed by Henrik Zetterberg, what was Malkin's excuse?

But back to Ovechkin. If you take whatever devotion you have to certain players or teams out of your thinking, the simple fact is, this is the best hockey player on the planet. He does things nobody else in the NHL is capable of doing, and he's just fun to watch. The fact that he led the NHL in goals doesn't hurt either.

WINNER: Ovechkin

CALDER TROPHY (Rookie Of The Year):

This is the one trophy that is of interest to Blackhawk fans...the finalists are VERSTEEG!, Anaheim's Bobby Ryan, and Columbus' Steve Mason. Ryan led all rookies in scoring, and Mason was one of the best goalies in the league, earning a spot as a Vezina Trophy finalist. Mason led the NHL with 10 shutouts, all while fighting mono after that one night when things "got a little crazy" with Sammi Pahlsson. Just a phenomenal season, rookie or not.

WINNER: Mason

VEZINA TROPHY (Best Goalie):

Lucky for the Hawks, 2 of the three finalists play in their division, and one just signed a 4-year deal. The finalists are Columbus' Mason, Minnesota's Niklas Backstrom, and Boston's Tim Thomas. Mason had 10 shutouts, as stated earlier. Backstrom had 8. But Thomas just had sick numbers, with a .933 save percentage, and a 2.10 Goals Against. The fact that he looks like he could be Gump Worsley's son only makes it better. An overnight sensation at age 35.

WINNER: Thomas

NORRIS TROPHY (Best Defenseman):

Every year, they keep trying to choose the Next Great Defenseman. This year, the two nominees are Boston's big mutant, Zdeno Chara, and Washington's Mike Green. Also, as always, is Detroit's Niklas Lidstrom. Green got a finalist spot based upon his 31 goals and 73 assists. At some point, there will be a new breed of exceptional defensemen duking it out for this award, with guys like Duncan Keith, Shea Weber, Drew Doughty, Zach Bagosian, and maybe Victor Hedman in there as well. Lidstrom has won it six times. As our friends in the Great White North like to say, make it seven.

WINNER: Lidstrom

LADY BYNG (Most Gentlemanly Player):

My give-a-damn is busted on this one. You might as well give out an award for penmanship.

WINNER: Some Pussy

SELKE TROPHY (Best Defensive Forward):

Last year, Blackhawk Patrick Sharp finished fourth in voting for this one. Back in the eighties, it seemed like every year the three nominees were three Canadiens. This year it could have been three Red Wings. One is a finalist, Datsyuk. Vancouver's Ryan Kesler and Philadelphia's Mike Richards are the others. Datsyuk is just smothering out there, and creates his own turnovers that get converted into scoring chances at the other end. His +34 is just insane.

WINNER: Datsyuk

JACK ADAMS TROPHY (Coach Of The Year):

The three finalists are Boston's Claude Julien, San Jose's Todd McLellan and St. Louis' Andy Murray. Murray did the best job of turning chicken shit into chicken salad down in St. Loo, but the Sharks had the best record in hockey.

WINNER: McLellan

MASTERSON TROPHY (Perseverance, Sportsmanship, and Dedication to Hockey)

The finalists here are Florida's Richard Zednik, Nashville's Steve Sullivan, and our old pal Chris Chelios.

The fact that Zednik's even alive after leaving a quart of blood on the ice in Florida after getting his corroded artery cut in a game is a miracle. Sully's return to the game after being out for two years, and actually being productive shows what huge balls he has. But Chelli? Hang on, lemme get my soapbox here...

Chelli is the only player in the NHL older than this humble blogger. The fact that he's still out there certainly shows perseverance.  But let's talk about his dedication to hockey. Every player involved with the negotiations during the lockout credits Chelios with basically preventing the players from getting bent over the sink. As much as Hawks fans boo him when he touches the puck, or view him as some sort of Judas, it's time to let it all go. He's done a lot of good for the game, and certainly busted his ass when he wore the Indian Head. He was playing for a team that really didn't want to pay him any more, and didn't want to build a winner around him. He got himself out of a shitty situation, and never asked to be dealt to Detroit. I'm sure if Rocky were running the show back then, we'd all wipe away a wistful tear while thinking about Chelios' 15 years as a Blackhawk captain.

The time has come to thank Chelios for a damn fine career, and leaving everything he's had on the ice.

WINNER: Chelios

Tune in tonight and see how wrong I am.