'Twas the night before Christmas, everywhere was the same
The League was on break - there weren't any games.
So I watered the tree and turned off the lights
Turned off the alarm clock and called it a night.

Suddenly I heard my burglar alarm beep
So I grabbed a hockey stick, and down the stairs I did creep.
A fat guy in red in my house on the prowl!
"Not more goddamn milk and cookies," he said with a growl.

I turned on the light and raised my stick
Santa turned and said, "Not so quick!"
"You're a Hawks fan", he said, and I said it was true.
He said, "The Adam Burish pajamas gave me a clue."

He said, "It's cold out, I'm taking a break," with a shiver.
I asked, "Don't you have more presents to deliver?"
He said, "I took no oath, this isn't the mail,
but for a shot and a beer I'll tell you my tale."

I got him a beer and poured him a drink
He handed me a present and gave me a wink
"This is Rumple Minze, it's 100 proof,
To make up for the reindeer crap on your roof."

He said, "You Hawk fans went too long with no toys
I thought you were all naughty girls and boys.
I thought you were loud, obnoxious and rude.
I thought you were uncouth, profane and crude."

"Then I saw your devotion, the strength of your will
The way you hung in there despite Dollar Bill.
The way you hoped, the way you dreamed.
The way when the anthem played, you all screamed."

"As angry as you got, as much as you bitched
As the Hawks skated worse than the Cubs pitched.
I saw this passion, and so I forgave
I gave you Kaner and I gave you Toews."

"The roar of the Stadium was a wonderful sound
So to restore it, I put Dollar Bill in the ground.
I didn't give you Sharpie, that's for your wife.
But you've got Duncan Keith for the rest of his life."

"I gave you Campbell, I gave you Huet
They're both having very good years, by the way.
For the good kids, Hossa was a wonderful gift.
Kopecky was a big lump of coal for Forklift."

"When I saw that the blue line was a glaring need,
I sent you Hjarmal, Hajmral - screw it, the Swede.
When Havlat and Khabby left, your heart did sadden
So to make it up, I sent you Madden."

"Will you give us the Cup?" I asked, all excited.
He said, "As bad as it was around here, you should be delighted.
The games are on TV, the players can score
but here you are, just asking for more."

"They made the playoffs for the first time in years
And all I saw was eyes full of tears.
You haven't won since '61
So remember this is all supposed to be fun."

"All these new fans, the winning is enticing
Even though they can't tell offsides from icing.
It comes with winning, so don't be a dunce.
Every old fan was a new fan once."

I asked, "You can't tell me if they'll win it all?"
He said, "Look, last year was a ball
This year looks to be even better
For those with Indian heads on their sweaters."

"But I'm a fan same as you," he said.
"If I gave out the Cup, the joy would be dead.
I watch the games back home with the elves
And we all like to be surprised ourselves."

"Which team is your favorite?" I asked St. Nick
He said, "I can't tell you, I don't think I could pick.
But I do have a schedule to keep
So I've got to get back to work, you go get some sleep."

He said, "You're a good man, thanks for the drink.
And I do have a favorite team," he said with a wink.
So as he left on his sleigh pulled by 8 bucks
I heard him yell, "Merry Christmas to all...DETROIT SUCKS!!!"




Merry Christmas from CT, Slats, Fork, and everyone at HOCKEENIGHT.COM.