KISS MY FLAMING LIPS: FLAMES 3, HAWKS 1
Greetings from Canada to all Hockee Folk far and wide! It is my honor and privilege to speak to y'all from my Native Land. We are a peaceful people, and we like Fergie as much as you do. This RECAP! is by request from CT, because, he said, he and Fork wanted it to taste like Canadian bacon. (Draw your own conclusions.)
First off, watching the Blackhawks play the Flames on the Rogers Sportsnet Calgary broadcast, it’s remarkable how much respect the local announcers have for the Blackhawks. (As opposed to the Hawk haters on TSN.)
Instead of being homers or making small talk, play by play man Peter Loubardias and color commentator (ex-King, ex-Bruin, ex-Seal, ex-Cleveland Baron!) Charlie Simmer actually speak knowledgeably about hockey and, yes, about Hawkey. “Charlie, is it me, or is this game very playoff-esque?” asked Loubardias with lugubriousness near the end of the middle period. Meanwhile, the ebullient Roger Millions (famous for saying The C-Sucker Word on camera!) provided the ice-level sidebars, intermission interviews (including one with an out-of-breath Tazer) and knock-knock jokes.
Loubardias and Simmer talked in glowing tones about the Hawks being a dangerous team in the next third of the season, how Troy Brouwer was once scoring champion in the Western Hockey League, how smooth and effortless a skater Viktor Stalberg is, how the subtleties in Marian Hossa’s game are appreciated by precious few, and how Jonathan Toews is a greater leader than Jesus, Mohammed, Meir Kahane or Mao Zedong.
BTW, they was underlinin’ several times, eh, how CRITICALLY IMPORTANT this game was for both teams. CRITICALLY. IMPORTANT. FOR. BOTH. TEAMS.
So while a Hawks fan wants their heroes to snuff the Flames, it’s hard to hate that team, unlike, for example, the whiny Nucks.
Trivia answer: Tom Lysiak. Whoever guesses the question wins a Murdersaurus beer stein.
And this blog contains no gratuitous Olli Jokinen jokes. Or Jay Bouwmeester jokes.
Especially because Les Hawques come up short. Again.
OK, let’s get it on!
Lance Bouma. 20 years old, tough as nails winger. Works his tail off and makes things happen. Like a sweet dish to Mikael Backlund for the Flames first goal. Why don’t the Hawks have somebody like that?
Robyn Regehr. Veteran d-man with a bent schnozzle and a basic philosophy: Get the Fark out of my goalie’s kitchen, butthead. Why don’t the Hawks have somebody like that?
Curtis Glencross. Budget-priced, grizzled veteran forward who crashes the net like hamburger into a meat grinder. AND he scores important goals. He knows, as Charlie Simmer, quite the scorer himself, said, "...That young goaltenders tend to go down so the ONLY place to score is over the glove." Which Curt did, with a point blank bazooka that was the GWG. Why don’t the Hawks have somebody like that?
Jarome ‘Superman’ Iginla. The Hawks DO have their own version in Jonny T.
Jonathan ‘Superman’ Toews. If every Blackhawk played with his intelligence, intensity and efficiency...geez, if every Hawk played with HALF his intelligence, intensity and efficiency.
Patrick Kane. Opponents and critics beat the bejeezus out of this kid, but all he needs is one shot and he can change a game. Screw ‘em all, says Crazy 88. FTW.
Honorable mentions: The partnership between the goal post and The Craw Man.
Too many of the Blackhawks. They are where they are right now because they are what you see.
The Hawks’ defensive coverage in the neutral zone. Anton Babchuk’s (yes, THAT Anton Babchuk) smooth stretch pass to Bouma to Backlund for the GOL was all too easy. And the Flames just cruised through the neutral zone all night. Hawkey Men! Can you spell b-a-c-k-p-r-e-s-s-u-r-e?
Yo, what happened to the offense in the opening frame? SOGs 10-3 Flames? Ouch. And the power play? Huh?
The Flames planned to hit Patrick Kane all night, and they did, and the big boys on the Hawks (you know who you are) didn’t do a damn thing about it. Think Chicago has the cojones to go deep in the playoffs (assuming they even get there)? Think again.
The Blackhawks are kinda sorta putting out, but they’re increasingly playing like a team that is nervous about missing the playoffs (witness Seabs' late game unsportsmanlike call). Hey, guess what, guys, you are in danger of missing the playoffs.
The burgeoning thought that no matter what trade Stan makes before the deadline, it won’t change anything. This season. Significantly. Not even the rumored Jack Skille for Mike Weaver deal.
Brent Sutter. He looks like he needs intravenous Pepto-Bismol. But he was one helluva Hawk. And he is a good coach. And oh yeah, ex-Hawk Rene Bourque scored the empty-netter to nail it.