Dear Stan Bowman:

Goddamnit.

Love, Fork

Seriously, out of all of the 3rd round draft picks who will probably never make the Chicago Blackhawks, you have to go and get one who shares DNA with the Captain?

David Toews is best known by his nickname, "Toews' Brother". He was drafted bu the New York Islanders 66th overall in the 2008 NHL draft, 2 years after older brother Jonathan went third overall. He's now 21 years old, the same age his brother was when he lifted the Stanley Cup and got a Conn Smythe trophy to go with the Olympic gold medal he won earlier in the year.

He's Mike McGear, he's Charles Washington, he's Chuck Cunningham. There's nothing terrible wrong with him, he's just not his brother.

Unfortunately for him, there's some genetic gap that left him a few inches shorter, not quite as strong, and without the baby's-ass soft hands of his brother. He also doesn't have the nose for the puck or the net. In fact, if his name were David Jones, he wouldn't garner all the attention he's getting in Chicago. Unless he sang "Alladin Sane" or joined the Monkees.

This isn't stopping meatballs all over the Greater Chicagoland Area from getting too damn excited about having two Toews boys wearing the Indian Head, even going to far as to proclaim them as better than the Sedins on Twitter and Facebook. Kill the motor there guys. There's a reason when you say "Gretzky", nobody thinks "Brent". Geez, considering the way our meatball Dads & Uncles bashed Dennis Hull when he played here, you'd think nobody would want any part of a star player's brother. Or maybe we get Keith Seabrook. Or Marcel Hossa.

He played two years at North Dakota, and racked up 26 points (9G 17A) in 55 games. He then played in the Western Hockey League last season, and 48 points in 60 games as an overage player. Not exactly a world-beater.

Still, his game is solid, and maybe he could stick as an energy player somewhere. Although, the Islanders, hardly a juggernaut, gave him up for "future considerations". Stan didn't exactly have to pry him out of Nassau County. Why anyone would ever think a player like this, bloodline or not, has a snowball's chance in Hell of dressing for a Stanley Cup Contender is beyond me.

If he stayed in the Islanders system, maybe he'd get a shot at Bridgeport Sound in the AHL. In fact, he might land in Rockford. But I'm guessing Toledo in the ECHL is where he lands, unless he winds up being the "Future Consideration" the Islanders get back.

Hell, the least he could do is throw us a bone and call himself Dave Toews, just so we can have fun with the name.