Hawks At Jets: Always Be (re)Capping
What happens when a hockey blog doesn't have a hockey season? I'm sure most of you thought we'd be taking the fall off. Maybe using all those photoshop residuals to jet off to an exotic location where we can order cold drinks from monkey butlers and wear our Hockeenight thongs in peace.
Well, you'd be wrong. You see, there's nothing more important to us than our readers and we know you can't make it through this lockout without our recaps. And you know what we at Hockeenight like almost as much as our readers? Pointless gestures. And so, as a service to you the reader, AND as a pointless gesture to protest the lockout, we will continue to post recaps on what would have been Hawks game days. What will we recap? Well, you'll just have to check the site and find out.
Tonight's Recap: Fruity Cheerios
To those of us of a certain age (37 - the rest of you are the wrong age and will just need to deal with it), the word Cheerios is associated with one thing - a terrible, terrible cereal that you forced to eat by your parents because it was healthy. Never mind that it was simply sawdust O's injected with vitamins and riboflavin, it was the healthiest thing we had. Back in those days cereals fell into two camps: healthy grains that tasted like, well, grain, and cereal that tasted good because it's nothing but marshmallows and buckets of sugar. It was extremely easy to tell the difference between the types, because companies were willing to be truthful in their advertising. Today's kids may be familiar with Super Honey Crisp, Corn Pops, Honey Smacks and Wheaties, but in 1978 these cereals were known as: Super Sugar Crisp, Sugar Pops, Sugar Smacks and Bruce Jenner's Dianabol Flakes.
What was my point? Oh yeah, plain Cheerios sucked.
My other point is my kids have it easy. Today Cheerios comes in a bunch of delicious flavors: Cinnamon, Honey Nut (which is just Alpha-Bits with only one letter), Gin & Tonic, Chocolate and today's subject: Fruity. Nobody has to eat plain Cheerios except for infants.
I ate a bowl of Fruity Cheerios for breakfast this morning. So let's get to the breakdown:
Taste - They taste good. They obviously don't taste like any fruit that occurs in nature, but they don't taste as chemically enhanced as something like Froot Loops.
Nutrition - there appears to be some. Fruity Cheerios contains at least 25% of your daily allowance of a bunch of vitamins and minerals. Hooray!
Sogginess - You'll need to eat these fast. For some reason, Cheerios are designed to dissolve in milk after just 3 minutes.
No Gamma Radiation - Sadly, it appears that those of us wishing to turn our children into Hulks will just have stick to the old fashioned methods of periodically visiting a nuclear test site.
The boys down at General Mills didn't go easy on the food coloring. On the plus side, if you've ever wanted to eat a big bowl of Don Cherry's suit, this is the cereal can make that dream come true.