Tonight we should all be either in the United Center or hunkered in front of our televisions enjoying the Kings and Blackhawks' rematch from their circus-trip game in Los Angeles from last week.

Instead, here we are. I've actually got a book I'm reading to review (hint: we're going to have a contest to give away a signed copy. Other hint: No, it's not Roenick's book), but I haven't finished it yet.

So after a lengthy discussion and analysis in the Shoutbox today, we'll be nocapping the James Bond movies tonight.

I love the Bond movies. In fact, I used to have a bunch of Ian Fleming paperbacks that I would buy for a dime in thrift shops in my early teens. Once home video came about (yes, there was a time when you couldn't rent a movie to watch at home), I would grab a different Bond movie every few weeks, running through the cycle until I got to the end then I would start again.

So let's get to our usual gamut:


Goldfinger. It has it all. Best theme song, best Bond (Sean Connery) best villain (Auric Goldfinger), best henchman (Oddjob), best Bond/baddie exchange.

Aw, Hell yeah. This one is the goods.


Timothy Dalton as Bond. The basic Bond hierarchy is as follows: Connery > Moore > Craig > Lazenby > Brosnan > Dalton. Dalton was wooden and unbelievable as Bond. He was Plan B after Pierce Brosnan got roped back into doing Remington Steele after being offered the role of Bond. On top of that, the movies were poorly written, had bad theme songs, and unmemorable Bond Girls. The only upside is that there were only two Dalton movies.


Never Say Never Again. This is to James Bond as George Clooney and the nipplesuit is to Batman. Basically, this guy named Kevin McClory wrote a treatment of Thunderball with Fleming, and never got credit. McClory sued, and got to do the Thunderball screenplay (which was awesome).  He also was able to write another version of Thunderball after an agreed-upon amount of time elapsed, and that became Never Say Never Again. Connery was brought in to reprise Bond, they got Kim Basinger to be the Bond Girl, and it was awful. Financially successful, but awful.

Anyway, watch all the other Connery Bonds, the Roger Moore ones up to and including The Spy Who Loved Me, Brosnan's GoldenEye and Craig's Casino Royale and Skyfall. If you really want to be a completist, go right ahead. But the other stuff will feel like the Van Halen album with Gary Cherone after watching the good ones.


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  • 11/27/2012 11:15 PM Fro Dog wrote:
    "Tonight we should all be either in the United Center or hunkered in front of our televisions enjoying the Kings and Blackhawks' rematch from their circus-trip game in Los Angeles from last week."

    Well, we all would have been watching this game somewhere had you guys done something a long time ago. You see, you continue to do the same things while thinking there will be hockey soon. But what you fail to realize is that the fate of the NHL Lockout is in your hands.

    Me + Puckcast = Lockout ending. I guarantee it. There is really nothing to lose. Other than more of the season.
    Reply to this
  • 11/28/2012 12:04 AM Bort wrote:
    My personal Bond heirarchy puts Craig ahead of Moore, but otherwise, you nailed it.

    Also, I think if Connery was in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, it might have been a contender for Best Bond Movie. Great film, only passable Bond.
    Reply to this
    1. 11/28/2012 7:16 AM Fork wrote:
      If the writers' strike hadn't hosed Quantum of Solace, Craig would be solidly ahead of Moore.

      OHMSS is, even with Lazenby, pretty damn good.
      Reply to this

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