A Non-Comprehensive Guide To Your Rivals' Twitter

 
You can have your opinion of the NHL and shove it into your own butt hole. I’m pretty happy that I get to watch the Blackhawks play hockey this year even if it’s via condensed intra-conference games. During the lockout I kept myself entertained by using Twitter to interact with fellow hockey fans from all over the world. It turns out there are fans of other hockey teams who are funny and smart and cool to know. It also turns out that more than a few of these people happen to root for teams that you and I, Joe Q. Blackhawksfan, do not particularly care for. With no actual games to watch we all became united, in a sense, in our desire to see the lockout end. Team allegiances became blurry and a common goal was forged: make a bunch of stupid jokes at the expense of the league we love because it was dicking us over. 

My goal here is to give you, loyal Hockeenight reader, a quick non-comprehensive guide to some hockey fans you can follow for the bad guys’ take on hockey. If you’re a Twitter Hero and think that when someone says something shitty about the Blackhawks that it’s your duty to “set the record straight” with the “facts” because you’ve “been a Hawks fan for 39 years” and “Barry Rozner is a good writer and a smart guy” then by all means go back to the tab in your browser that’s showing the pornography and stop reading this. If you can take a joke and understand that someone derisively mocking the Blackhawks isn’t an attack on your entire existence then boy have you come to the right place. 

It’s a true fact of life that not everyone was born in the same city nor had the same experience growing up. Some people like other teams. If everyone liked the same team hockey would be the worst sport ever. It would be Spanish soccer, basically. So without any further ado, here are some quality follows who happen to spend most of their time tweeting in support of teams you and I hate.


Sometimes I’m not even sure how much we hate Detroit anymore with everyone obsessing over the Canucks all the time. It won’t take long to remember how much you hate them once the games start going. These guys up above are hilarious and even though they cheer when Todd Bertuzzi does things that doesn’t mean you should shun them. 


Vancouver has a lot of really cool fans on Twitter. They’ve also got the most statistically obsessed people of almost any team (maybe Edmonton) and I’m pretty jealous. If any Hawk fan would be so kind as to count chances and zone starts for each Hawks game and overanalyze it I’d read the hell out of that. They might say bad things about Jonathan Toews and you may not think that’s something that people actually do. It’s good for you to know that he’s not perfect and could be better at certain things. 

Nashville: @predatweeter, @JRLind

Nashville is a rival. It’s true. Yes, we argue about who is going to take the Preds recaps because there are only so many ways to say that Barry Trotz has no neck and “sorry I fell asleep in the second period” but their team is always good enough to cause trouble and we should never bet against them. These two fellas are good for happenings and some excellent yuks as well. 

St. Louis: 

Just kidding, they don’t have the Internet in St. Louis yet. They do speak to each other through a telekinetic network that’s been accidentally set up thanks to a combination of radioactivity and a surprising number of people with metal plates in their heads. They do not yet have the Internet though and for that I am sorry because I’m sure hockey and HeeHaw references would go really well together. 

Phoenix: @JoeYerdonPHT

Joe is probably the biggest Phoenix Coyotes fan around. Just ask him. He writes a lot of articles about them and is quick to interact with his adoring fans. This is their last season in existence. They will not be missed. 

Those are just a handful of the fine people you can chat with. Remember, they don’t like the Blackhawks and that’s ok. Instead of trying to get into an internet tickle fight with them when they make a joke, why not try making your own joke? Let’s be fun this season.

 

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