It's playoff time again, so once again the Hockeenight Mathletes have been released from the gym lockers where they had been stuffed, and they've been crunching the numbers on  the first-round matchup between the Chicago Blackhawks and Minnesota Wild:

5 - Number of years since the Minnesota Wild have made the playoffs.

5 - Number of years the Chicago Blackhawks have made the playoffs in that period.

5 - Total number of bars of soap that Cal Clutterbuck has come in contact with in his life.

12 - Place in the Western Conference for the 2011-12 Wild.

8 - Place in the Western Conference for the 2013 Wild, after adding All-Stars Ryan Suter and Zach Parise.

196,000,000 - number of dollars laid out by the Wild to move up four spots.

1 - Number of playoff teams with a negative goal differential.

-5 - Goal differential for the Minnesota Wild.

+53 - Goal differential for the Chicago Blackhawks

2010 - The year the Wild traded Nick Leddy and Kim Johnsson (RIP) for Cam Barker.

541,666 - number of dollars the Wild's buyout of Barker counted against this year's Cap.

+2 - Ryan Suter's plus/minus for the year. Everyone agrees he's a serious Norris candidate.

+16 Duncan Keith's plus/minus for the year. Most Blackhawks fans were disappointed in his play.

5 - Number of hits the Minnesota Offical Scorer has given Clutterbuck as you read this.

3 - Number of Wild players born in Minnesota - Matt Cullen (Cornhole), Nate Prosser (Dead Elk) and Zach Parise (French Tickler). Although, Ryan Suter calls Butt Plug home.

0 - Number of games Dany Heatley will play due to injury.

∞ - Number of Dany Heatley driving jokes that will be made anyway.

3 - Number of phone books Jared Spurgeon sits on when he's on the bench.

2 - Number of times Fork will make "TV Magic Cards" jokes about Jonas Brodin.

100% - Odds that Minnesota goalie Josh Harding will win the Masterton Trophy, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

4 - Number of nights since Wild fans booed Harding.

5 - Aggregate IQ of anyone who once upon a time thought Zenon Kenopka would have been a good addition to the Chicago Blackhawks.

0 - Chances of the Wild winning if Kenopka ever sets his skate blade on the ice during a game.

0 - Chances of the Wild winning if Kenopka is in the press box.


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  • 4/30/2013 6:41 AM Rich l wrote:
    Images of the mathletes stuffed in there lockers was hilarious. Still, since I was never good at ciphering, i feel sorry for people who try to explain the world with numbers - they tend to take the color out of the rainbow.

    I enjoyed this piece though.
    Reply to this
  • 4/30/2013 7:53 AM Dave Morris wrote:
    Stellar stuff from the stout studs of HOCKEENIGHT as always, but more Zenon Konopka jokes would have been good too. Did y'all know he makes and sells his own wine?
    Reply to this
    1. 4/30/2013 8:09 AM Rich L. wrote:
      No doubt a derivative of Boone's Farm

      Always remember - friends, don't let friends, drink White Zinfandel.

      Is Big Cheyene the mathletes coach?
      Reply to this

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