WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE MUPS: Blackhawks 7 Flyers 2

At the start of tonight's broadcast of the game between the Chicago Blackhawks and Philadelphia Flyers, Pierre McGuire said to Duncan Keith, "The hangover period is over". So Pierre is a douche canoe.

The Blackhawks finished their run of three games in four nights by racking up another half dozen goals plus one, giving them 19 since Sunday night, as they dispatched the Philadelphia Flyers 7-2 in Fort Kickass.

Let's get to this:


Antti Raanta. He was solid in the first period when the Hawks were flatter than the Olsen Twins, then ran a clinic on stopping breakaways in the third when the Hawks were on a power play and were treating offense as if they were trying to fight through their last couple forkfuls of potatoes at Old Country Buffet. Merry Christmas and Happy Goaltending Controversy.

Depth, depth, depth. Seven goals by seven Blackhawks. Thirteen total Blackhawks racking up points tonight. This team is an absolute machine. At this point the only way a coach can put together a game plan is to try getting power plays and hope your goalie can stand on his head. Mark Lazerus pointed out on Twitter the Hawks have scored 5 or more in 41.1% of their games. So you better be 60% of the way to 5 goals before the game starts if you want to have a chance.

Jonathan Toews getting off the schneid. He got a goal deflecting a Patrick Sharp shot, so hopefully he's off the skids. It's been discussed in other quarters that he hasn't looked like himself lately. He had some good looks at the net, and maybe a greasy goal gets him going.

Dunc Norris. A goal off a huge slapper, and was a force the entire night. His partner Brent Seabrook has picked his game up lately as well. This is making it a lot better in terms of being able to get Raanta's sea leags in the NHL.

Patrick Kane getting his 300th career assist. Bear in mind, he just turned 25. Drink this all in, you'll want to remember all this for when you tell your grandkids. 


The Penalty Kill gave up two goals. Not a problem when you're putting a crooked number up on the scoreboard, but they need to get this shit straight by the time the leaves are back on the trees.


Scott Hartnell was butt custard out there, ramming Toews into the net after his goal, and knocking Raanta over by knocking him in the head with his bulbous ass. Hope you liked hearing Chelsea Dagger 7 times, dickbiscuit.

The Hawks now get a couple days off before (say it with me) back-to-back games this weekend.


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