The Malört of Hockey Blogs


...I thought turkeys could fly...

…I thought turkeys could fly…

…We’re back.

Anybody who has read our site hasn’t had much to read lately. As for why it won’t do any of us any good to go down that particular road again.

But in the 7+ years of Hockeenight, there’s been one thing we’ve never written about or talked about on the Puckcast because it’s really kind of humbling for us, and we didn’t want it to sound like we were boasting.

Each year, particularly when the Blackhawks win, we get emails from readers/listeners. The emails are generally along the lines of “I’ve had to get through a really tough time recently, and your recaps helped me get through it.” And those emails were not forgotten when we decided to not recap this season.

However, a couple friends of the site have had shitty things happen lately. And the world is becoming an increasingly shitty place. And sports is an increasingly shitty business. There are forces out there that are actively working in the cosmos to make the world and the people in it inherently unhappy.

We can save the world, one fart joke at a time.

Now then…

(cracks knuckles)

The Chicago Blackhawks began the second half of the Circus Trip in San Jose, taking on the Shorks in SAP Center. The Hawks have been kind of sputtering on the trip so far, winning and losing overtime games in Alberta before getting curbstomped in Vancouver. The Shorks have been hot, taking 6 in a row on their east coast trip.

Could the Hawks get their collective fecal matter together? Let’s get to this…


The Hawks announcing their presence with authority. They came out firing, and only a couple spectacular saves by Shorks’ goaler Martin Jones (I could have used “The whole town’s talking about the Jones boy” here, because the one thing the Hawks’ blogosphere is sorely lacking is Mills Brothers references) prevented at least two goals to go along with the Brent Seabrook tally that all occurred in the first ten minutes of the game. In fact, San Jose didn’t even have a shot on goal until after 13 minutes had gone in the first period.

The second line. Again. Both Bread Man and The Little Idiot had 2 assists, and the Rehab Center (look, he’s Kane’s center and his initials are “AA”. It’s a gimme) kept going to the front of the net. I’ve always liked AA’s skillset, and it’s nice to see him starting to put it all together.

For that matter, the kids tonight – Panarin, Marko Dano, Tanner Kero and TVR all had solid games. Too bad QStache hates playing kids.


If we stayed away until the Hawks’ power play wasn’t dogshit, we’d never come back.


If this were available before January, it could win any Ugly Sweater contest this Christmastime:




Next up is the annual Black Friday game in Anaheim.

Fro is the worst.


  1. Something else to give thanks for!
    Does Malort go with turkey?

    1. Malort goes with everything. Even that terrible sweater.

      1. Too warm for the sweater, but broke in a couple of virgins. One said a fudge brownie killed the aftertaste.

        1. If the brownie had something other than fudge, it would make the rest of the bottle way more palatable.

  2. Welcome back boys and girls. Thanks for making Thanksgiving better

  3. Thanks for coming back. My winter just got better.

  4. Wait – so the Webb Boys jingle is an actual song?

    Glad to have y’all back

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