The Malört of Hockey Blogs

BFIH: Blackhawks 2, Fake Jets 0

It’s good to be back writing these Hatecaps. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve caught my tweets that to this point have not garnered me a block by the Fake Jets account. They probably just shrug and laugh it off. Fuck you shitfucks and your stolen team.

On to tonight’s game. This was, thankfully, a hell of a lot better than the shit-filled diaper that was last night’s game. Maybe it was playing at home that energized them. Or maybe the moose piss power drink in the Jets’ bottles was on the weak side. Doesn’t matter. A win is a win, and the Blackhawks won.

*cracks knuckles* Let’s go.



Teuvo is giving me feels in certain places. His no look pass to That Guy was a thing of beauty and reminded me of his no-look goal the other night. Fuck me sideways till I’m gone. PS Eddie Olczyk can eat his fucking comments from last night about how shitty Teuvo was.

Rundblad actually played? And he was good? And assisted on the second goal? O M fucking G.

Duncan Keith had six hits tonight. The entire Jets team had eight. LOL.

The Jets were 0 for 5 on the power play, which was sponsored by True North Meth and Moose Fucking.

Did you know that the Blackhawks are 34-21-6 on the sixth night of Hanukkah since their inception in 1926? Pass the fucking latkes, we’re having a fucking party.

Marian Hossa continues to fucking rule the world, and we don’t care. Let him.



Why is Brandon Mashinter. This is not a question but one of those existential discussion points that even that bastard Sartre would’ve walked away from.

I’m disappointed that there’s no @BestFansWinnipeg account out there, because their whiny revisionist tears would fuel me for the rest of my life. As someone said to me, they are the BFIB of hockey.

Nice WWE clothesline of Rundblad by Dustin Byfuglien. Someone ask Roberto Luongo to write another poem about his giant ass.

Side note: I and several other Thrashers fans were told back in 2011 by newly minted Jets fans that Atlanta would never again have an NHL team because it’s “too ghetto”. Eat your moose shit and wank off, you jags.



The mayor of Winnipeg invited Donald Trump to visit the most racist city in Canada. How appropriate. This is the same mayor who cried because his city was named as such. Boo hoo, now your secret’s out. Eat a bag of dicks and start treating the aboriginals in your city with respect, you ignorant assbag.


From our good friend Jay Zawaski:
best compliment ever

Fuck Winnipeg and all it stands for.

And before I forget: Happy Hanukkah, motherfuckers.

Updated: December 16, 2015 — 8:33 am


  1. I am really happy that you’re back as well, letschatavant. Fork sucks.

  2. Oh man, this whole recap was the Hottest Take of all. WELCOME BACK.

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