HOCKEE NIGHT

The Malört of Hockey Blogs

BISHOP SQUIRTS ONE OUT: Lightning 3, Blackhawks 2 (Tampa leads 2-1)

Turdy

Turdy

The Chicago Blackhawks came into the United Center for Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final having done what they needed to do, taking home ice advantage away from the Tampa Bay Lightning and reducing the series to a best-of-five.

So they had the Lightning where they wanted them – They had them coming into Fort Kickass, where they had lost once all postseason. Hawks’ coach Joel Quenneville could get all the matchups he wanted. Ben Bishop’s health was in doubt.

Well..all the matchups in the world didn’t help the Hawks tonight. They squandered the only lead they had all night by allowing a weak goal 13 seconds after going ahead, then a late goal by Cedric Paquette sealed the deal, as the Lightning won the game 3-2, and took a two games to one series lead. Let’s get to this…

THE GOOD:

Marian Hossa. He assisted on both Hawks goals, and did all he could to carry the Hawks on his massive shoulders. This is a man who has exuded greatness throughout his career, and has been on the shitty end of two Finals. He doesn’t want the hat trick.

The Penalty kill. Particularly the kill of the 5-on-3 after Brandon Saad clocked Turdy in the head. The United Center rocked like the Stadium after the kill, and the Hawks were skating like they had rockets up their asses the rest of the period. Unfortunately…

THE BAD:

…The Hawks’ offense. Look, I’m just a jerkoff with a hockey blog. Still, I can watch a game and a goaler and see the way to score on Turdy is to move the puck around, since Turdy isn’t the most mobile goaler when he’s 100%. Hell, both goals tonight game after puck movement. Shooting from 40 feet on a rush ain’t getting it done.

THE UGLY

The return of Bryan Bickell. He decided that since he was drawing in for Versteeg, he’d do Versteeg things. He got the puck stripped following an ill-advised attempt at dangling where he looked like a monkey trying to fuck a football, then took a horrendous penalty. I’m pretty sure QStache was looking at Bick wishing Bollig was still an option. But HITZ!

HOT TAKE OF THE NIGHT

Apparently MontanaBrenan is using an alias…

Next up is Game 4. The Hawks do not want to go back to America’s Weiner down 3-1.

In the meantime, buy a damn shirt.

Go Hawks.

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