The Malört of Hockey Blogs

NEEDS MOAR RACING PRESIDENTS: Blackhawks 2, Capitals 3

winter classicIt’s time once again to relive childhood memories of playing hockey in an overhyped stadium with aging entertainers. Wait, you didn’t do that as a kid? Then you don’t have a good Winter Classic memory.

All this lead-up to the game feels like Christmas. Then you have the game, and afterward all you’re left with is less money and weird stuff you don’t want to play with. You’ll forget about it till someone brings it up, then it’s like a bad acid flashback.

Let’s get this over with.



Patrick Sharp scored the first Hawks goal, making him the first player in NHL history to score in outdoor games in two consecutive seasons (also last year at Soldier Field). Way to go, Fuck Lizard!

Gorilla Salad didn’t play for most of the second period. While it’s bad that it was probably due to injury, it was nice not to bitch about him being on the ice.

Brandon Saad’s goal was a beautiful display of the Red Wedding Line at work. Didn’t hurt that Hipster Goalie Jesus had a wide open net.



When the announcer doesn’t know who the fuck got a penalty, just call him Patrick Carcillo. It’s the new Donald.

The second Capitals goal was on Crawford for not grabbing that rebound, but Old Rickety Rozsival should’ve cleared the crease. Just leave him at some quiet farm in northern Virginia on the way back home.

Holy hell, these acts that played during intermission. Next year, it’ll be Confederate Railroad and Tiffany.

It was a 5 on 3 and nothing happened. I don’t care if they actually had some shots on goal or that they get the occasional power play goal, I fucking give up on hoping for one.

Versteeg left in the third with what looked like a nasty injury to his hand. Welp, that second line was great while it lasted.



Toews’ shitty “penalty” that led to Troy Brouwer’s last-minute goal. That felt scripted to me.

Alex Ovechkin. *mic drop*



I’m collectively nominating all the commentary on Lee Greenwood’s “performance”. Take a bow, Hockey Twitter.


Now it’s over. Let’s all relax our asses, because there’ll be plenty of cheek clenching for the rest of the season.

Updated: January 1, 2015 — 3:35 pm


  1. You about covered it all Fork…my recap looked the same.

  2. I thought Lee Greenwoods performance was great. He has a great voice. Beats the hell out of some of tje Super Bowl trash (Aerosmith and the weird Brittany Spears fiasco, Beyonce, Madonna being carried in lile Cleopatra etc)

    But tjen again, I’m proud to be an American. Sorry to hear Carcillo may be hurt, but someone will have to explain to me why Morin was shipped off instead of #13.

    I’d have to watch Ovechkins goal and the purported rebound you said Crow gave up. There was a lot of trafffic and the initial shot was from pretty close in. The cruz of the problem wih that goal waa Runblad and Rosi were stuck out there against theCaps best line

    1. Greenwood sounded God-awful. And soccer is the only Major League sport played in the US where there’s less American representation. It was an idiotic choice for a sport that prides itself on its internationalism.

      Although, if their three choices were the three they went with, I’m guessing their budget was tiny, and they simply couldn’t get anybody good.

      1. If the truth be known, I won’t being buying tickets to any of the three acts in the near future.

        I am begginning to think you have communistic leanings though.

        Fun game to watch. We barbecued at some friends and had a great New Years Day. Can the Hawks become like the Lions or Cowboys and play every New Years day?

      2. Better, no musical acts. Its a non conference regular season hockey game.

        Outdoor games are a novelty to begin with, but the NBC pukecast plus the parade of hasbeen/neverwas talent between periods gives the whole thing a distinct XFL vibe.

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