After what can only be described as the most boring offseason in history (despite the creation of our brand new team), the NHL is finally almost ready to spring it’s patented brand of fun mixed with chronic stupidity on its unsuspecting fanbase (the NHL sounds a lot like Hockeenight now that I think about it). But we can’t start a season without a vague and useless analysis of each and every team, helpfully pegged to a completely arbitrary standard! Thus we are pleased to announce the return of “View From The Top”.
Last year the Columbus Blue Jackets not only made the playoffs, but they actually won the first playoff games in their history.They are now the second most successful professional sports team in .Columbus, behind Ohio State Football. Although to be fair, the Buckeyes have a much higher payroll.
Getting Artemi Panarin was…interesting. He’s a winger who can provide a good amount of offense, but he doesn’t exactly have what you’d call a “200 foot game”. John Tortorella is going to lose his shit watching him go to the same spot in the faceoff circle and take his shot like he’s a miniature Ovechkin. Let’s see how he does without Patrick Kane on his right wing. And it cost them Brandon Saad, who is a more complete player. They biffed on getting Matt Duchene, maybe they can take another run at him.
Zach Werenski and Seth Jones are a good, young defensive pair. The rest of their defensive corps is best described as “a bunch of dudes”.
Sergei Bobrovsky win the Vezina Trophy. Good luck banking on him repeating that.
There are 9 Arby’s in Columbus. They all miss Ken Hitchcock.
ARE THEY BETTER THAN THE LAS VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS:
Better luck on the golf course, boys.