After what can only be described as the most boring offseason in history (despite the creation of our brand new team), the NHL is finally almost ready to spring it’s patented brand of fun mixed with chronic stupidity on its unsuspecting fanbase (the NHL sounds a lot like Hockeenight now that I think about it). But we can’t start a season without a vague and useless analysis of each and every team, helpfully pegged to a completely arbitrary standard! Thus we are pleased to announce the return of “View From The Top”.
They did it. The Nashville Predators finally did it. They beat the Blackhawks. They beat the rest of the Western Conference. They played for the Stanley Cup. And they lost. It happens. But it has to be a horrible feeling, to play all the way to the end of the season and basically have it be for nothing. And it is for nothing, the Cup runner-up basically gets nothing but a some extra mileage on their players and a short offseason. Yuck.
The biggest changes we see here are the departures of Mike Fisher (who retired to become Undersecretary of Commerce) and genital wart enthusiast James Neal who is now one of the more famous members of our favorite team, the Vegas Golden Knights. Also, Mike Ribiero is finally gone, hopefully to prison. Meanwhile the remainder is still pretty good: Filip Forsberg and Viktor Arvidsson are potent scorers and Ryan Johansen carriers a very potent wallet. The rest of the forwards are Nick Bonino, Scott Hartnell’s rotting corpse and a bunch of guys I don’t care about.
Still probably the best in the NHL, featuring PK Subban, Roman Josi, Mattias Ekholm, Ryan Ellis and Alexi Emelin. I don’t even have a good joke to make.
Ah, here we go. The Preds goalie is still Pekka Rinne. That’s right, all this firepower and they’re trotting Pekka Rinne out there behind it. This is either the height of hubris, or the height of stupidity.
Just in case you were wondering if the Predators front office ever made any mistakes, they are carrying buyout cap hits for both Viktor Stalberg and Barret Jackman this season.
ARE THEY BETTER THAN THE VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS
Well, we’ve got James Neal and they don’t.