The Malört of Hockey Blogs

AS PREDICTED…: Kane Case Simply Goes Away

There are already people blaming the woman in this, without even knowing anything about her. Entrapment. Gold digger. You name it. But you notice how many players there are in the NHL? Somehow this stuff always happens to Kane. Even if it’s entrapment, Kane was obviously seen as an easy mark, a guy who lets his little head think for his big one.

I have no doubt than the NHL, with help from St. Rockwell of Madison Street, will somehow manage to make this all go away. But just because you flush, the bathroom still stinks.

– Me, Months ago.

Of course this ended this way. The Chicago Blackhawks were not going to leave anything to chance with their $84 million investment. The NHL is banking on The Face Of USA Hockey benefiting from short memories outside of Chicago, and the firm belief that anybody who plays for a team you like is of the highest moral fiber.

I’ll say this – whoever it is that does the cleaning for the Hawks does one hell of a job. The closest the team has come to having an incident blow up in Chicago ended with Jonathan Toews simply walking away from his automobile accident rather than sticking around for the cops. But other than that? Crickets.

Now, of course, nobody other than Kane and his (former) accuser will ever know what happened in that room on that night. And there is an awful lot of real estate between “not guilty” and “innocent”.

But the way the Blackhawks handled the whole situation was pretty shitty and arrogant. The shitshow of having Kane sit in front of the press (HOCKEY QUESTIONS ONLY!) before going into their usual pep rally. The bobblehead night. Kane hooking the banner. All of it. At the time it looked tone-deaf, now it looks like the smugness of someone who knows the fix is in.

Now we’ll know if this was really “the pressure” or a payoff based upon one simple indicator – whether there is a civil suit or not. If there’s a payoff then there will be no civil suit. Because a civil trial would not be great for Kane, the Hawks, or the NHL. For starters, in a criminal trial, Kane isn’t required to take the stand. In a civil trial, if he’s called, he has to. And the burden of proof changes from guilt to liability – basically instead of the State (in this case, Erie County) having to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Kane is guilty, Kane would have to prove lack of liability. And let’s be real here – whatever case the Erie Co. prosecutor might have had was blown to bits with the debacle of the evidence bag – that was “Probable Cause” on a silver platter.

But at this point I’d be surprised if there are any civil proceedings. I’m pretty certain wherever the money is coming from contains a gag order – no press, no public statements (books, etc.), no anything. So this will all fall into the abyss, like Drew Doughty, like Jameis Winston, like any other athlete who has been on the lucky side of the chromosome lottery.

Where does this leave Blackhawks’ fans? We’ve already seen it – with the exception of a very small percentage who barely created a pinhole in the firewall, it’s business as usual. And Kane will get a huge ovation tomorrow night for not being charged with rape, just as he got a huge ovation at Notre Dame for being accused of rape. Hell, look at how beloved Mike Tyson is, and he was convicted of rape.

As for Kane, he will continue making millions of dollars for playing hockey. I wouldn’t be surprised though, if the Hawks make him start summering in Chicago. See my remarks above regarding the Hawks and their cleaner. Because we only know for certain about the incidents that have made the public record. To be fair to Kane, everything else is hearsay. But the Blackhawks’ management knows it all. And they also know that if they treat their business as if it’s business as usual, all they are doing is resetting the clock for the next awful thing Kane does. And whatever happens next might not be resolved with a checkbook.

As for this humble blog? I honestly don’t know. Neither CT nor I have any appetite for making fun of anybody in the league…bear in mind, I’m saying this with the Blues being the next team on the schedule. For those thinking we owe Kane an apology…yeah, good luck with that. For those wondering if we’ll be “Fair and balanced” toward Kane…we’ve never been fair or balanced about anything ever. Why start now?

But that “feminazi” guy from our comments…feel free to stop by at any time. But for the love of God, buy a fuckin’ shirt.


  1. When that evidence bag press conference turned out to be a hoax, or whatever it was, I thought this was the conclusion that was in order. I think what pisses me off is that, as you said, none of us will ever know what happened. Only those two know. He’s no different than Ben Roethlisberger (there is more evidence in that case and odd occurrences that convince you he’s guilty) and Jameis Winston (likewise for him).

    As I mentioned in another post, the best thing the Blackhawks could have done was tell him to stay away from everyone until a conclusion is reached (for better or for worse). They aren’t the law, but as you said, they handled it poorly.

    “Regardless of the situation, are you going to stop drinking?” – Mark Potash to Patrick Kane in training camp

    That’s all you need to know about Kane. From the cab ride incident, to the limo in Vancouver (I know nothing was illegal here, but you get what I am saying) and then, to the Madison incident and lastly, to this, it’s a long list. And in Madison, tens of people saw what he did to that woman up there.

    He’s the present day Bobby Hull when it comes to these incidents. I’ve seen Bobby Hull on a few different occasions at games. Most fans would think that’s awesome. I wasn’t alive to see him but have heard all of the stories. I would never want to shake the guy’s hand.

    1. you’re still the worst.

  2. Terrific post…I’m with ya, but I admit to still watching and following the Hawks. Old habits I suppose, since I still luv the game and can compartmentalize the realities.

    Beyond the obvious, I miss you guys…the post-game wraps and the puckcasts. As a “loyal” reader, count me as one who would like to see the return of Hockeenight in one form or another.

    Regardless, I’ll always respect your decision.

    All the best,


  3. for me it’s about accepting 3 things.

    1. Patrick Kane is a cake eater asshole who’s lived a blessed life cuz his dad totallay owned a dealership.

    2. Too much about the way this case progressed and the way the team handled it makes it seem as though they knew all along that this is how it would end either because cake eater convinced them from the getgo that despite his track record that THIS time it was a setup or because like every other sports team $ solves everything.

    3. Professional sports are just as fucked as everything else and whether or not you can treat it as an escape from your DTD you have probably got more pressing moral conundrums in your own life you should be devoting your mental energy to.

    4. Go Hawks

  4. “Nature gave men two ends-one to sit on, and one to think with. Ever since then man’s success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.” – Goerge Kirkpatrick

    While I did enjoy mayor monkey and curiois george, its time to get back to your in depth, whacked out, analysis of the goings on frozen pond.

  5. Your blog was the first one I read after a game.

    Now, I’m stuck with puckinhostile.com and thecommittedindian

    One of which is a white knight, like you guys.

    I hope you keep writing your BlackHawks blog. We can stipulate you hate Kane and the way the Hawks handled it. And you are against entitled athletes getting away with rape.
    But we live in a shitty cold part of the country, and hockey is the only good thing about winter.

    We heard you. Now get back to writing the damn blog.

  6. From someone who has listened to you guys religiously for 6-7 years now, from Louisiana and now Tennessee with zero connection to Chicago or the Hawks, a Stars fan who quite honestly prefers the Hawks lose more than they win, and someone who would be embarrassed to have anyone I know find out that I actually enjoy y’all’s frequently disgusting and often childish podcast, I completely respect and appreciate y’all’s stance on the Kane situation and I get where y’all are at regarding Hockeenight.

    But if you decide to keep podcasting and posting, even if it’s 30 minutes of hockey cards and mid-90’s Rangers references alone (or some bitter game recap every now and again), I won’t miss an episode, like I haven’t since 2008. Love you guys. You’re doing it right.

  7. You guys are great with the game recaps. And I really do mean great! I really miss them and will only miss them more as the season progresses and the games become more meaningful.

    You guys, however, are so wrong and terrible on this Kane issue. Yes, the worst. You accuse the Kane and the Blackhawks of smugness. Read this post again and tell me who is smug. You make numerous claims with absolute certitude when you got nothing – nothing – but speculation. The absence of any evidence doesn’t stop you from striding with the confidence of a sleepwalker.

    So please get over yourselves and start writing about something you actually know something about, instead of this nonsense.

  8. So. Care to comment on the fact that tve DA all but called the accuser a liar?

    1. The “Kane is definitely a rapist” crowd has been really quiet since Sedita spoke up about that. I wonder why?

    2. All we’ve done throughout is comment on this. And our assessment was pretty much in line with the DA, that Kane brings this on himself…remember back to our first post on the topic, worst case was he’s a rapist, best case is he’s a fucking moron.

      1. In this post you wrote that we are resetring the clock for the next awful thing Kane does. But in this case he DIDN’T FUCKING DO ANYTHING! But you don’t really care about that, do you?

        1. all a “next time” requires is a “first time”. This was the third time (on record) that a night of Kane drinking has ended with law enforcement being involved. He sure as hell doesn’t look like a guy who will suddenly start exercising better judgement, does he?

        2. since when do we celebrate people for not raping someone? shit, whens my parade?

          at the VERY LEAST Kane brought home a girl who was not his long time girlfriend, which most people call cheating, so I wouldn’t get on a moral high horse to defend this guy if I were you. But if you want to, take it somewhere else, that’s not supported here.

          1. Anybody can bring whatever they want here, with the exception of spam. If we only allowed comments that supported what we said, we’d be Bleed Cubbie Blue, and nobody wants that.

  9. Eddie in the rafters

    I agree with your assessment of how poorly the organization has handled the Kane situation; it was utterly tone deaf. I’m not able to make the leap that they were an active part of making this go away. I think they were aware of what actual evidence existed and knew, based on the history of cases similar to this, that the likely hood of actual charges coming would be small, and a conviction, even smaller. I, like everyone other than Kane and the woman, don’t know what really happened, but I have little sympathy for a guy who repeatedly puts himself in stupid situations and then laughs it away.
    And Swede, you have an interesting take on the DA’s comments. Come back to reality, friend.

    1. Have you read anything about this case written by someone not salivating at the prospect to put Kane behind bars? From Forbes writer Eric Macaramalla (a laywer): “In a sharp and stinging statement, Sedita strongly suggested that he simply did not believe the accuser’s claim that she was raped by Kane. He went as far as to characterize her claim as a “so-called case” which was “rife with reasonable doubt”. For a lawyer, that’s very strong language.” In my book that is as close a DA can come in written statement to call someone a liar.

      In a tv-interview, Sedita also gave reasons as to why the accuser is not charged for false accusation. 1. Kane was never charged and 2. Sedita doesn’t want to discourage sexual assault victims to come forward.

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