The Malört of Hockey Blogs

VIEW FROM THE TOP: Ottawa Senators

Seriously…what the fuck, Ottawa?


After what can only be described as the most boring offseason in history (despite the creation of our brand new team), the NHL is finally almost ready to spring it’s patented brand of fun mixed with chronic stupidity on its unsuspecting fanbase (the NHL sounds a lot like Hockeenight now that I think about it).  But we can’t start a season without a vague and useless analysis of each and every team, helpfully pegged to a completely arbitrary standard!  Thus we are pleased to announce the return of “View From The Top”.

Last year the Ottawa Senators shocked the world by somehow managing to squeeze their way into the Eastern Conference Final. Judging by the empty seats, that world included Ottawa itself. So how did Ottawa deal with the indignity of having empty seats in an arena that houses a team that made it to the final four last year? Goddamn right they removed 1500 seats.

Let’s discuss. 



Nate Thompson can win faceoffs. Thanks to NHL players not participating in this season’s Winter Olympics, we don’t have to wonder why Bobby Ryan didn’t make Team USA. An exit from Ottawa turned out to be the only thing Viktor Stalberg could ever finish.




They’ve got Erik Karlsson, who is a future Hall of Famer. They let his partner, Marc Methot, walk. Good way to get back to the conference final, guys. They have obviously cut their scouting budget, since they signed Johnny Oduya without seeing the giant fork sticking out of his back. Guy Boucher will really have to rub his lucky rabbit’s foot here.



Craig Anderson will do Craig Anderson things in the last year of his contract. Mike Condon is being groomed as his replacement. 


Ottawa is a weird city anyway. It’s in Ontario, but it always seemed more Quebecois, with a large Francophone population. So naturally the two best players in franchise history are Swedish.



Not even sure they’re the best team in Ontario.

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