After what can only be described as the most boring offseason in history (despite the creation of our brand new team), the NHL is finally almost ready to spring it’s patented brand of fun mixed with chronic stupidity on its unsuspecting fanbase (the NHL sounds a lot like Hockeenight now that I think about it). But we can’t start a season without a vague and useless analysis of each and every team, helpfully pegged to a completely arbitrary standard! Thus we are pleased to announce the return of “View From The Top”.
The Pittsburgh Penguins will forever be remembered as the last team to win a Stanley Cup in the pre-Golden Knights Era. They will be sorry to see their run come to an end.
You know Sidney Crosby and Donald Malkin will be good. Losing Nick Bonino is going to sting. They actually traded their first round pick for…Ryan Reaves? The same Ryan Reaves who couldn’t dress on a nightly basis for the St. Louis Blues. I’ve heard people use the rationale that Reaves can provide protection for Crosby, but there are four guys in striped shirts on the ice every night who do that.
Kris Letang has the durability of a piñata. Justin Schultz is the best they’ve got. I think everyone else left.
Marc-Andre Fleury will be winning Stanley Cups in Vagas now. They’re all in on Matt Murray, with Antti Niemi still reminding people that he had a couple really good months back in 2010.
If you can’t remember the last time you saw “Sudden Death”, it’s been too long.
ARE THEY BETTER THAN THE KNIGHTS?:
The sun has set on the Penguins dynasty.