HOCKEE NIGHT

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WORKING LATE EARLY: Blues 1, Blackhawks 0

And so it begins...

And so it begins…

Tonight the second season begins, as the Chicago Blackhawks went to where you’d stick the hose to give the world an enema to play the Blues in Game 1 of the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, or as the Blues lovingly refer to it, “quittin’ time.”

The Hawks entered tonight’s game knowing they’d be without Hall of Fame defenseman Duncan Keith, as he was serving the last game of his 6-game suspension, and Andrew Ladd was in question until almost gametime, due to his wife being in labor.

How did it go?

The game went into extra innings, with known dog harvester David Backes scoring the game’s only goal while trying to make a pass, only to see the puck bounce off Trevor Van Reimsdyk past Corey Crawford, giving the Blues a 1-0 win, along with a 1-0 lead in the best-of-seven series.

Let’s get to this…

THE GOOD:

Goaltending on both ends. Crawford and Brian Elliot were both conspiring to sell a lot of coffee in the Greater Chicagoland Area tomorrow morning, stepping up and making some spectacular saves. A real clinic.

Niklas Hjalmarsson. Twice he got stung by Vladmir Tarasenko shots, but he hung tough.

THE BAD:

Mashinter in, Panik out. Qstache, you never make it fucking easy, do you?

THE UGLY:

Idiot Blues fans chanting “Crawford” during a scoreless tie? Time to lay off the leftover Bud Dry you’ve got laying around, guys.

Wait, somebody was actually wearing a Kyle Beach sweater at this game?

HOT TAKE OF THE NIGHT:

Next up is Game 2 Friday. Nothing is fucked here, Dude.

Fro is the worst.

Updated: April 14, 2016 — 6:58 am

5 Comments

  1. If not for the stress hormones coursing through my veins, I’d say that was one boring hockee game. Oh, and Fro is the worst.

  2. Something is puzzling me. Who is Fro, and why is he the worst.

    That hot take isade up, right?

    Mashinter os playing to negate Reaves; I tell you Q is a genius.

    Hitting alwaus seems to be times 10 in the playoffs, eh.

    I saw that Beach shirt also – WTF?

    I guess Q is saving a teuvo, panik, fleischman line when things get desperate. Because a kruger/desjardims/shaw would make to much sense.

  3. OK, guys, get ready to have your minds LITERALLY blown out your anuses.

    FRO is the worst
    FORK is also very bad

    A K is a strikeout in baseball.

    So FRO+K is an anagram of “FORK”: futility plus a callout of that futility equals!!!?!?£!?!!!

    WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

    and Fro is still the Worst

    1. wow. Just….wow.

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